Testimony of my life
I was born on the 17 April 1975 in Russian Ural city called Kurgan It is
a small, grey, ordinary city, nothing special, known for its criminality
though (and it s not only my opinion). My family all working people:
mother, father and brother, who is 10 years older than me.
When I was 5 years old my mother lost her sight (she is now completely
blind) this was due the complications after her illness. After that the
relations in our family turned to be really tough.
At the age of 13 I decided to explore the world myself, I started
smoking, drinking from time to time. Of course my parents and brother tried
hard to stop me from this kind of things with no result though. I started
asserting myself as a personality, and since I considered that my close
ones do not serve me as a proper example, I simply paid no attention to
them at all. This kind of life captured me more and more: willfulness,
limitlessness, irreconcilability, resistance always accompanied me.
At the age of 16 I had to leave school because of my systematic
unsatisfactory performance and results, and since I needed money for my
rakish life, following my parents advice, I went to work at the factory.
Then I encountered the problem that I was still short of money, so I
started looking for other ways of earning including illegal ones.
At the same time I encountered one more problem. The eternal questions,
well ignored so far, became to interest me with a really overwhelming power
and the answers to them were essential, thus at least I considered.
Innumerable quantities of all possible literature began to be turned
over: occultism, scientific and usual fantasy, the transactions of some
philosophers and scientists, Taoism, Buddhism, Krishnaizm, and so
Christianity. All this began to settle in my consciousness and imagination.
The mountains of questions, answers, treatises, comparisons - everything
was mixed in my head. But I learned that there is a certain God Who is
important Personality in the history of universe and entire humanity.
Once, when I was reading and investigating the New Testament suddenly
this unknown Someone touched my heart and turned to me with the call to
serve Him... It is not possible to express the completeness of all my
feelings and sensations at that moment. Happiness, trembling and at the
same time fear overfilled me. I felt entirely pressed and seemingly shouted
in myself being turned to God: No, Lord, not now! First I want to
experience everything in this world and then may be!.. This way began my
complete sinking into what I wanted.
Lewdness, occultism, drug addiction, alcoholism, lawlessness,
"self-knowledge" and super-philosophy, the creation of the possible and
impossible idols - all this filled my life. Thus, being occupied by one
thing then by another, I traveled among different youth gang groups.
When I was 19 I pretty well realized that all this activity had led me to
the blind alley, there was no more way to go. I could perceive possible and
close death. So to be pulled out of this vicious circle I came up with the
decision to go for the military service in Russian Armed Forces.
There after remaining in private with myself and people around me I got
the opportunity to think it all over again and reexamine my attitude to
what was going on in my life. Having a criminal background I was convinced
that it was the right way to live, but I suddenly realized that this way
sooner or later will lead me nowhere but to death. The only question
when? The idea to die for unlawfulness didn t really appeal to me.
Unfortunately, the circumstances in the place of my service (and that was
only my fault) gave me two options: either to kill those on my way, or I
didn t know what to do. I didn t have to kill anybody but was sure that
when it comes to that I would have no other choice and the consequences
would be easy to predict.
Due to the Higher Will among us there was one believing soldier, we all
called him saint . I decided to approach him and talk to him though we
already had lots of conversations before and I was well aware of his
concepts, views and outlook on life. Serious conversation didn t come out
that time, however I had taken some reading from him before I got
Reading that I learned that there are people whose life was changed by
God, they were the living witnesses of those changes accomplished in their
life. I thought about it seriously
In one article it was written that if you want God to change your life
all you need to do is just to entrust it to Him along with all your
problems and concerns. And He Does have a power and authority to change the
lives of those who ask Him about it for good. Just ask. So after gathering
all the entire faith that was in me I literally cried to God: Lord, if You
do exist, please change these circumstances and take me out of here! God
heard my prayer.
After serving 1 year in the Army I returned to the civil life. Having
honestly spent six months on the drink I decided to bring the situation to
a head. Firs of all I finally finished the secondary school. I ve recalled
about God very rarely ever since. As far as I was concerned there was one
more thing to experience married life, so I decided to get married. I
found my ideal (as I thought) partner fairly quickly and even had a
confidence that it was from Him .However after we had lived together for
several months (without getting married) I turned to God and realized it
was a mistake. Our ways went apart since the interests were different.
Once I was standing at the bus stop thinking about my life: where I
started, what I came to and suddenly I felt a strange and incomprehensible
for me anxiety and worry. I looked around and saw one person who, as I
knew, was a believer. Something inside me strongly encouraged me Come and
talk to him! My reaction was: What is he to me? I don t even know him!
Having taken the same bus with him (as we lived in the same place) all the
way I was struggling with the overwhelming thoughts. Thus, having convinced
myself that the idea was of no use for me I was just about to get off the
bus going to the completely opposite direction. And all of a sudden (I even
jumped up slightly) in my mind very clearly it sounded NOW OR NEVER! It s
not hard to imagine what I felt at that moment And I called that person:
Hi, mate! Your name is Zhenia, isn t it? He answered me and we continued
our way together.
Later walking with him along the road and discussing the issues in the
Bible I realized that it was exactly what I longed for and what I was
looking and aiming for all this long time. Through that person God reviled
and showed me the true way in life and everything about those people who He
Is with, those who love Him. After some time attending the services I came
to repentance reconciliation with God and New Birth. God has changed my
life, my heart, my outlook on life, everything I am, and He gave me a new
life, new outlook, new heart able to love, forgive and believe. And now I
am a completely different person from the one I was before since God has
entirely changed everything, granted everything NEW.